Would you be the hat novelist? and writing withdrawal

So if you only had a hat upon which to write your novel, what would your novel say?

And would you write it under a pseudonym? Or would you be you—the hat novelist?

I have not written an ounce of fiction for nearly two months now.

I don't know where I'd begin.

I don't know if the vague but actual pain in my brain is symptom of withdrawal from writing stories.