My father loves a good sausage sandwich, I told the man,

and so he helped me choose the right mustard and the right horseradish for inclusion in my father's birthday bag.  Condiments from Lancaster County.  Italian cookies from Termini Brothers.  A Penn cap for the Penn scholar.  A Penn pen to finish things off while seated at our new favorite restaurant in Berwyn. My mother was the best gift buyer in the whole wide world, and no one could ever fill her shoes, and besides, aren't early February birthdays hard, coming so soon after Christmas?

Still, I wanted my father's big day to be special, and so I asked the condiments man if I might snap a photo to show my dad just where his two new bright jars had come from.  I didn't get a picture of jars alone.  I got the man himself.  In action.