Monday, June 11, 2012
Two of three things I know for sure, and one of them is just this—if we cannot name our own we are cut off at the root, our hold on our lives as fragile as seeds in a wind.
Two or three things I know for sure, and one of them is how long it takes to learn to love yourself, how long it took me, how much love I need now.
Oates's voice, on the other hand, is more external, more deliberately instructive. It is harder around the edges, tensile with new grief:
Advice to the Widow: Do not think that grief is pure, solemn, austere and "elevated"—this is not Mozart's Requiem Mass. Think instead Spike Jones, those unfunny "classical" musical jokes involving tubas and bassoons.
How many widows have made this futile call—dialed numbers which are their own numbers; how many widows have listened to their dead husband's voices again, again—again...
As you will too, one day. If you are the survivor.