with every new book I write, it seems

.... like I have never written before.  Here is the scene.  Here is the mood.  How presumptuous, to think it might somehow bend to words.

I sit here, my eyes closed, teaching myself writing all over again.

It's never easy.  You are never an old pro.  You are just, perhaps, old.  Each book is a virgin landscape.  You may or may not succeed.