Showing posts with label Jay Kirk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jay Kirk. Show all posts

back to school night, at Penn, with Julia Bloch

Saturday, September 19, 2015

I had a summer that didn't use much of my mind, so then I lost words. And my body, too, began to dwindle, only I gained weight in the process.

So when Jessica Lowenthal invited me to the reception honoring Julia Bloch, the new director of Creative Writing at Penn, I had many concerns. One: my wrong hair. Two: my wrong shoes. Also (like I told Jay Kirk and then Greg Djanikian and maybe even Tom Devaney and Avery Rome and Stephen Fried, but not my students Nina and David, or maybe I did, because I don't know, I was feeling irresponsible, and did I tell Al Filreis, too?, but I know I did not so burden Jamie-Lee Josselyn, Lorene Carey, Max or Sam Apple, at least I hope not), I had lost my personality. Left it somewhere. In the summer.

(Perhaps that's a good thing?)

But I went anyway, talking to my son by phone while in transit so that I would not turn back because, as I have noted, everything about me was not quite right, and if I'd not been talking with him, I'd have talked myself back onto the train and headed reverse west, for home.

Then I crossed the threshold at Kelly Writers House (there's always a little thrill involved) and everything changed. The place was just, well, filling up. With faculty members I respect and love, and students I adore. Soon (or, it actually happened first) Jessica herself was taking me on a tour of the new Wexler studio, and bam. I didn't look right, but something happened. I felt as if I belonged.

Then the star of our evening, the star of our program, stepped forward and faced a crowded, beaming room and began to read poems from Valley Fever (Sidebrow Books) and Hollywood Forever (Little Red Leaves Journal & Press, the Textile Series) and I, sitting there in the front row, began to feel a hot little prickle inside my head. Like the blank nothing of my thoughts was getting Braille-machine punched by all the delicious oddness of Julia's phrasing and syntax, occasionally repurposed lines, jokes I got and maybe didn't always entirely get (because, as I always say and forever mean, I am just not that smart). Julia was talking and then (I heard this) she was singing, but without any change in the pitch of her voice. Singing by exuding whole phrases in one long breath, then stopping (beat/beat) and starting again. It was like being driven in a car with the windows down, at night, when there is a lot of open road but also some bright red traffic lights.

Damn, I thought.

What do I mean, how can I explain this? These coupled and uncoupled ideas, the surreality of words you assume have been fashioned from parts, the winnowed down ideas that, when toppled and stacked, say something. Mean something. Even if you can't actually always articulate what you have been stung by, you know you have been stung.

Here is half of "Wolverine," from Valley Fever, a poem I instinctively love, also a poem I will ponder for quite some time.

Wolverine

I was only pretending
to be epiphanic

she said, tossing the whole
day over the embankment.

Is the heart collandered
or semiprecious

filled with holes
and therefore filled with light —

....
This afternoon, following a morning of work and a conversation with a friend, I read Julia's two books through, cover to cover. I hovered. I felt that warm thing happen again in my head, that invitation I will, as a writer and reader, always accept—to slam and scram the words around, to make the heart inside the brain beat again.

Thank you, Julia, for making my brain heart beat again.

And. You are going to be terrific. You already are.

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The Pennsylvania Gazette Feature/Dangerous Neighbors Excerpt

Friday, October 29, 2010

The University of Pennsylvania has been extraordinarily good to me—inviting me to contribute to the pages of The Pennsylvania Gazette and Peregrine; trusting me to teach a small class of brilliant undergrads; putting me at the helm of an online book group; asking me to read with Alice Elliott Dark, or to sit on panels with Buzz Bissinger, or to join David Remnick for a Kelly Writers House dinner; and to come to know, even better, the likes of fellow teachers Jay Kirk and Karen Rile. 

Earlier this summer, John Prendergast, the editor of The Pennsylvania Gazette, wrote to say that he'd read Dangerous Neighbors and that he looked forward to having a conversation.  We had that conversation on a sunny day sitting on a row of skinny benches while a tennis match played out before us.  I was my breathless, enthused, and sleep-starved self (as you'll read) and John was the thoughtful man he is.  Several weeks later, the photographer Chris Crisman and his team met me at Memorial Hall and put up with me long enough to take my picture.

It is a generous story, accompanied by one of my favorite scenes from the book.  It will always be cherished.  And Chris, thanks for pulling your camera lens back.  You know what that means to me.

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Philadelphia at Night: A Portrait (and a fine Dangerous Neighbors review)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

I returned home from my afternoon at 1209 Vine to spend an hour reading the latest thoughts, impressions, and declarations of the online book discussion group that I've been leading for the Kelly Writers House at the University of Pennsylvania.  I then turned right around, hopped the train once more, and headed back to the city for the launch of Jay Kirk's first book, Kingdom Under Glass, an altogether wonderful affair conducted within the halls of the Academy of Natural Sciences.

It was near midnight when I crossed the river and looked south, toward the newly rehabilitated Main Post Office Building at 30th Street.  My city photographs well, any time of day or night.

In between the travel and the book-club talk (and, okay, true, a few corporate assignations), I received word of this gorgeous review of Dangerous Neighbors over at Alison's Book Marks, which concludes with words that any writer of non-vampire texts yearns to hear:

Different from anything I have ever read before, Beth Kephart raises the bar on Young Adult novels. She proves that you don't need vampires and werewolves to capture this audience's attention, and bring them on a journey they will not soon forget.
  Thank you, Alison.

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A Conversation with Jay Kirk, Author of Kingdom Under Glass

Saturday, September 25, 2010

I found this marvelous creature at the gas station today; he was taking a ride on a bike.  A wonder, I thought, and then I thought of the cabinet of wonders that are unlocked by Jay Kirk's book, Kingdom Under Glass:  A Tale of Obsession, Adventure, and One Man's Quest to Preserve the World's Great Animals.

Jay's book, his first, is due out in a month from Holt; I had the pleasure of reading an advance reader's copy. As one who majored in the History and Sociology of Science at Penn, I was fascinated by Jay's protagonist, Carl Akeley, who didn't just revolutionize taxidermy and fit out the African Hall at the American Museum of Natural History in New York with his lifelike creatures, as the jacket copy explains, but wrestled big cats and won, stared into the haunted eyes of massive elephants and lived to tell the tale, and somehow did not evaporate beneath the glaring African sun.  Akeley was a character of outsized proportions, and Jay has brought him to life in every vivid color and with a vocabulary that had me keeping dictionaries near.

I asked Jay a few questions about Kingdom.  He kindly replied.


You say in your notes that you have a "near-allergic avoidance of the subjunctive."  How is the subjunctive too often abused?  How did your stance regarding the subjunctive ultimately help you shape your book?
I don’t know if the subjunctive is abused, per se, but I do feel pretty averse to its overuse in nonfiction.  For one, I think it tends to enfeeble a story when an author is too frequently falling back on “Carl very well must have been thinking…”  or “Akeley in all likelihood was on the verge of…” or “she very well could have been feeling blah blah,” and other forms of demurring along this line.  It’s kind of flaccid and takes away from the authority and immediacy of the prose.  It distracts.  Not that you can avoid it altogether, of course.  It’s definitely mandatory if you need to qualify some kind of pseudo-attribution to a character that isn’t citable.  But the easiest way to avoid it is to be as absolutely rigorous as possible about the things that don’t fall under the strict category of “fact.”
Can you give me an example of what you mean by what doesn’t fall under the category of fact?

Well, a lot really!  Especially when you’re trying to bring human characters to life based on their own very subjective and limited interpretations, i.e., diaries, correspondence, etc.  But let me give you an example of where I might use a detail I don’t know existed for sure, with absolute and total certainty, yet where I felt absolutely justified leaving out any subjunctive qualifications.  What I am often conscious of employing, in these cases, to develop scenes without crossing the boundary into fiction via pure speculation/invention, is inference.  As an example, there’s this one scene where Carl and Mickie are on the Uganda railroad, aka “Lunatic Express,” and I describe them as wearing the same goggles everyone else is wearing to protect their eyes from the clouds of red dust that filled the passenger cars.  Now, neither Carl nor Mickie ever made mention of these goggles in their diaries, or anywhere else, nor did I ever see a photograph of them in said goggles.  However, from reading Charles Miller’s exhaustive Lunatic Express: An Entertainment in Imperialism, I did learn that in addition to all the other discomforts of the train ride (ceaseless thirst, bad food) “dark goggles were also advised… as protection against the desert’s red dust which penetrated every compartment in billowing red clouds…”  That certainly doesn’t prove that the Akeleys wore those goggles too, it still is not a fact, but I do know that Carl and Mickie were sensible, well-equipped travellers, and I’m comfortable enough with the likelihood (inferring from the general to the specific) to omit the milksop subjunctives.  Not to pick a fight with imaginary agonists, but for anyone who just doesn’t buy it, I would have you consider how cognitive scientists have repeatedly demonstrated that a hundred percent certainty is never possible anyway when it comes to memory—so even if Carl himself had written that he firmly remembered wearing those goggles, it’s just as possible he could be confusing his own memory with the interposing memory of all those other passengers wearing goggles, leaving the poor objectivist reader hung up on absolute certitude facing the same dilemma: fiction or nonfiction? 

Akeley’s life is grippingly fantastical.  In writing about Akeley in the way that you do—so much loving detail, so much vivid rendering—you necessarily had to choose some scenes over others. Can you describe your decision-making process?
It’s obscene, the amount of things I was not able to include.  But it would have been equally obscene to try and include everything.  There were just so many, many things over the course of his life, and his five truly unbelievable expeditions to Africa, all stuff that I would have loved to have kept, and that I really struggled over cutting, but in the end, the over-arching, or maybe under-lying, themes of a book do dictate making omissions that if I were writing a biography proper would be sinful.
You have always been a writer, and always, too, a reader.  What books have shaped your idea of what nonfiction can be?  What nonfiction should not be?  What boundaries can still be broken with the form?
Too many great nonfiction writers come to mind: Geoff Dyer, Lawrence Weschler, Erik Larson, Dave Eggers, Norman Mailer.  I really loved The Executioner’s Song.  But, for personal pleasure, I still find myself reading more novels than anything, because the thing I love best is that deep sense of story.  As far as boundaries waiting to be broken,  I think nonfiction has a very open field.  And for that reason alone it’s tremendously exciting to write.  You’re kind of always giddily asking yourself: can I get away with this?  I mean, look at Akeley, he was an artist working in a completely “nonfiction” field and he broke every boundary, but it didn’t require fictionalizing his material in the least.  I mean, he used his subjects’ actual skins.  There must be some sort of metaphor there for the grisly work of writing nonfiction.
You have a huge vocabulary, and you have fun dispensing it.  What words did you discover in the writing of Kingdom that have become a lasting part of your everyday talk?
A few words jump to mind that I picked up, though I can’t say I’ve yet to work them into my everyday talk:  Brainspoon.  Haversack.  Spoor.  Xylonite.  Puggaree.  Bovril.  Askari.  Gerenuk...  On the other hand, I guess I am more apt to use the expression “bully!” nowadays.

Nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs—you put them all to good use in Kingdom.  Do you have a special relationship to any particular parts of speech?
I like sentences that keep things in motion.  That do their job, which, in my opinion, is to advance the game in some way, to move the story along.  So, with that in mind, I’m a fan of any part of speech that’s doing its job and helping out the sentence.  I’m in favor of strong verbs and of course nice carbon-based (concrete) nouns, the words that make up all the vivid things to look at and touch and bounce the senses off, nouns like “tusk” and “bootstrap” and “indiarubber.”

How do you know when a sentence is done?  A passage?  A book?
I know a sentence is done when it feels riveted in place.  When I cannot revise further.  When all the extra verbiage has been junked, and the genetically inferior sentences dragged off to the slag heap, and everything has been compressed to the point where it all somehow feels essential, where all the words are doing their job.  Sometimes I just suddenly realize, oh, I guess I’m done.  And then I have to get myself out of the house as quickly as possible so as not to print off another draft and pointlessly fiddle with it.
 

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On the matter of acknowledgments

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Yesterday, my copy of Jay Kirk's Kingdom Under Glass arrived, a book I'll be eagerly delving into later this long weekend.  I've known Jay through much of this book's creation, have been privileged to read a long, early chapter, and have been astonished (and been made grateful) by the research-inspired stories that he tells.  In a few days, once I've finished reading, I'll be able to report on the book here in greater detail.

But for now, let me say this:  I may stand in the minority with this, but I believe that acknowledgments, in books, actually matter.  They tell us something about the person behind the story.  They tell us something about the web work of his or her life.  Jay's acknowledgments, in Kingdom, carry on across four pages, and from every sentence of thanks there leans humility and grace.  There are stories upon stories inside Jay's acknowledgments, and I am lucky to be among those noted.  But mostly I smile at Jay's words for his wife, Julie.  "I would skin a pack of wild dogs for you," he writes at the close of a long paragraph.  The thing is:  I'm pretty sure that he would.

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The week ahead

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I'm headed into the Big Apple today (though not by way of clydesdales, sadly) to talk about the power of the Kelly Writers House program at Penn, to read with Kimberly Eisler, one of my truly talented students, and to witness the indomitable Al Filreis teach a poem (that should be something; hope he doesn't call on me).  Two days later, I'll head back down into Philadelphia to see my first Penn student, Moira Moody, say I do to the man she loves.  I'm banking on Dr. Filreis showing off some highly ecclesiastical moves at Moira's wedding. I'll take hip hop, too. Or even the cha cha.

By mid-week next week, I'll be spending the day at Chanticleer (the site of Ghosts in the Garden and Nothing but Ghosts)—teaching memoir to the aspiring writers of Agnes Irwin, thanks to the invitation of Julie Diana, who is not just the head librarian at Agnes Irwin, but the wife of the fabulous writer, Jay Kirk.  Thursday and Friday, back in New York, I'll spend some time with editor Laura Geringer and the glorious Egmont team; the book bloggers I have come to love; Amanda King, Gussie Lewis, and Jennifer Laughran, booksellers extraordinaires; and maybe even grab a few moments with Amy Rennert, my west-coast based agent with whom I often speak but whom I rarely see.

I am not, by nature, a sustainably social person, and so, when I return home next Friday evening, I'll be grateful that one of my very favorite events of the entire year—the Devon Horse Show—will have rolled into town.  We moved here in large part because the fairgrounds are just down the road, because these horses do trot by just after dawn, because I like few things more than walking through the shadows of stables, fitting my hand to a sweet mare's nose.  I like the sound of clop and whinny, the tinny music that accompanies balloon dart games and Ferris wheels.

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Scenes from a party

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

With thanks to Elizabeth Mosier (author of My Life as a Girl and party thrower supreme), Christopher Mills, and their wonderful girls; Jay Kirk (author of the upcoming Kingdom Under Glass) and my dad; the fantastic people at Children's Book World, who provided not just the space and time, but this fab pinata; and all of those who took time from their busy schedules to join us for a memorable evening.

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Nothing Happened and Then it Did: The Jake Silverstein Debut

Friday, April 2, 2010

I have a neighbor, whom I shall call Jane, who makes living in this neck of my woods a treasure. I'll say she teaches English as a second language at a community college. I'll say she and I watch horses trot up the street in May. I'll say that she's a mother loved fiercely by her daughters—daughters you'd greatly admire, if you knew them.

Jane also has a son-in-law named Jake Silverstein—or at least she says she does. You might have heard of him—a contributing editor at Harper's magazine, the editor of Texas Monthly, an award-winning sort who shows up regularly in the Best of anthologies, sometimes alongside my friend Jay Kirk. For years, Jane has been saying that Jake (whom, oddly I've never met, and since I've met Jane's aunts, daughters, grandchildren, cousins, husband, dog, and old-time friends, I've always been suspicious as to whether or not Jake Silverstein actually exists) has been writing some sort of book. For years I've been asking,What kind of book? For years she's been saying, It might be a novel. It might be nonfiction. I'm not actually sure. We don't press him.

A little over a year ago, Jane stopped me while I was driving by to say that Jake had sold his book to someone named Alane Mason. Alane Mason of W.W. Norton? I asked. Yes, Jane nodded. Do you know her? Um, yes, I said. She edited three of my books. Jane smiled, as if I'd just confirmed a strain of something actual. What sort of book did Jake sell? I asked. I'm going to find out, Jane answered.

Long preamble, you're right. I'll get to the point. This past Tuesday, I opened my mailbox to find a copy of Jake Silverstein's Nothing Happened and Then it Did: A Chronicle in Fact and Fiction. It's an actual book with an actual cover, and it's a memoir/novel (?) that describes Mr. Silverstein's forays into a journalistic life that takes him devil hunting, poetry contest participating, pirate-booty jaunting, and Mexican race-car tripping (in a service truck), among other things. Some of these stories are true, or at least rooted in truth. Some of them are not, or at least not altogether. All of them are tongue-in-cheek funny and also the work of one who writes an authentically gorgeous sentence.

I'm particularly attracted to this bit from the preface: Fact and fabrication are in opposition only where there is no society to verify or deny; for a man in isolation—and who is not?—the two share a greater taxonomy.

It's the kind of new insight you'll get all through a book that puzzles you along and keeps you not so much knowing, as asking.

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English 145 (5):

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I arrived at the Penn campus early yesterday, first to have tea with Gregory Djanikian, a poet, a mentor, and the director of the creative writing staff. We talked of students and what might be yielded to them, talked of what remains, or should. We walked, then, to the eastern wedge of the campus, where Greg has a standing Monday squash game, and where I, by virtue of proximity to a once-familiar structure, remembered my own days on the varsity team.

I said goodbye to Greg, then met Jay Kirk on the library steps. I had an elephant's eye for him—glass, a taxidermist's tool, an object found at Paxton Gate during a San Francisco trip. Up Locust Walk, then, Jay and I went, talking of books, rehearsing history, recalling the days, mine, when again and again my work was rejected for its lack of commercial viability. We talked about English 145, and about Jay's narrative nonfiction, and about what I hoped he might relate to the students of my class.

After lunch, Jay was there, in Room 209, engaging these young writers, as I knew he would, with stories about funeral home directors and brothels, a lesbian retirement community, Rwanda's post-genocide tourism business. In structure lies meaning, Jay told the class. Scene making is story making. Write your authentic self—your fears, your not knowing, your questions—directly onto the page.

They do. They have. For we critiqued the students' memoirs then—powerful, personal stories that demanded respect and received it. Talent matters in writing workshops, of course it does, but so do intellectual integrity and kindness. My students bring all three to class. They move me to tears. I can't help it.

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Some of Each, in a Rain Storm

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Throughout the long pour-down of yesterday's rain, I travel. First, in the dark of pre-dawn, I travel a dreamscape, write to page 246 of this new novel. It's a number bearing no actual significance, save that there, within page 245, are the seeds of the novel's ending, a turning toward, a knowing that, someday, I'll finish this—a fact I would not have bet on until yesterday's strum-beat of rain. Mid-morning Body Pump at the gym with friends is a journey away from me, my mind. Later, back at home, the windows streaking, the laundry room leaking, I slip inside the work of my Penn students, who have responded, with heartbreaking skill, to this call:

Choose an event from your own life about which you now have some distance, some accumulated wisdom. Tell the story of what happened. Enrich it with your understanding of what it meant then, of what it means now, of how time has shifted both the event and its meaning. Consider Ginzburg's dictate about poetic beauty, Dillard's consuming wish to notice everything, Hampl's suggestion that true memoir is written in an attempt to find not only a self but a world.

In the early afternoon, my husband and I eat under a canopy at a local dive, watch the canvas pucker beneath the force of rain. At the gym, beneath the pounding down of storm on rooftops, we practice our tango. Inside the ceaseless wash, we drive home, and again I read the work of my students, then read (for the fourth time) "Hotels Rwanda," authored by my friend Jay Kirk, a best travel essay originally appearing in GQ. Jay will join our class on Monday, talk about how narrative nonfiction gets done, about how one hunts for story, then finds its heart, then gives it shape and purpose. Jay will come, and because he knows and charms and bushwhacks and waits, we'll all be smarter for it.

Late afternoon, our son calls and we talk for a long time about the things he has learned, the conversations he has started, the words his teachers write across his papers. Night, the rain still falling, we watch the movie, "Seven Pounds." I cannot sleep afterward.

Today, this much-discussed ballroom dance showcase will take place. A tango. A Broadway quickstep jive. No matter what, then, that chapter will be written, complete. That is life, the sum total: the anticipation, the afterward.

I just wish I slept more.

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Living on the Margins, Writing Alone

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Sometimes things just hit you—obvious aspects of yourself, known territories, that suddenly swoon large in your own self-opinion. Last night, watching the crowd gather at the bookstore, watching that community of authors engender and inspire that community of listeners, I was smacked about inside my head with this commonplace observation: I really am an outsider. I really do live on margins. The center of things eludes me.

Genetics? Circumstance? I do not know. I know only that my life as a writer is fueled almost entirely by correspondence (the essential literary back and forth with Jay Kirk, Buzz Bissinger, Reiko Rizzuto, Ivy Goodman, Kate Moses, Anna Lefler, Alyson Hagy) and the very rare phone call, not by gathering. That I write my books alone, extraordinarily so. That I miss the trends because I haven't been out among those trading news about them. That the few times that I have been out in person doing book-related things over these past many years is primarily because of one person, Elizabeth Mosier, who made it possible for me to join Patricia Hampl (one of my favorite memoirists) for dinner one evening, who drove me to Swarthmore to see Elizabeth Strout (another heroine), and who was the reason I ventured out last night to see writers who were very much worth the effort.

I have squeezed this writing life into the dark. I have made certain that it didn't interfere with the family dinner hour or the client expectation. I have gone off writing these books in my head without stopping to consider: Will they sell? Are they of the now? Will they find their readers? I have bludgeoned out this path for books, but it's a small path—whacked away and narrow.

Is that the way? Is this the way? Last night I had my doubts.

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Second Chances

Friday, October 3, 2008

I posted earlier this week about the gifts of friendship yielded by the mostly private writing life; I wrote, particularly, about Jayne Anne Phillips.

My story was about the time I'd spent with Jayne Anne in Prague; Jay Kirk, that enormously gifted writer whom I've praised in other blog entries (most recently that gorgeous Rwanda piece in GQ) and whom I've benefited so hugely from knowing since 2005, wrote to tell me about the quality of a critique Jayne Anne had given him at Bread Loaf. The email dialogue went (paraphrasically) thusly:

Me: Wait. What year were you at Bread Loaf?

Jay: I was there in '96.

Me: As was I. Grace Paley. Anne Lamott. The gorgeous Olena Kaltyiak Davis. Jane Satterfield. Brooks Hansen.

Jay: Wait. You were in our class? Or were you teaching...

Well, indeed. You get that point. Apparently, I've known Jay since 1996. Apparently, we sat in the same small classroom. Surely, I read pages from his then novel-in-progress; I remember the beating pulse of the guy's talent. And beyond this being one of those ain't-life-strange conjunctions, it raises for me this question:

How do I keep managing to trip up against blazing talents who are also (don't ever take this for granted) hugely good souls? The sort of people I need to know, because without them I wouldn't think nearly as hard. I had the chance to know Jay a long time ago, it seems. I was given (fluke that it was) a second chance. Thank goodness I was finally paying attention in '05. It would have been lousy if I hadn't.

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Jay Kirk at the Hotels Rwanda

Monday, August 25, 2008

You get lucky every once in a while in life; you meet the right people. When I won a Pew Fellowships in the Arts grant back in 2005, I didn't just win time (thanks to a wholly generous appropriation), I won a chance encounter, at a Pew event, with a fellow grant winner named Jay Kirk. He was (and it took about two seconds to figure this out) the real writer in our conversation of two. The kind that treks around the globe, looking and finding. It's not that Jay is fearless; ask him, and he'll rate his fears for you on a sliding scale of ten. It's that Jay is alive, Jay wants to know, Jay has the whole flipping dictionary in his head, and he wants to put a few of those words—subluxation, anyone?—to good use.

I've read some Jay since then. A chapter from his book-in-the-making, Kingdom Under Glass, about the taxidermist Carl Akeley, that had me going apoplectic in my search for justice-doing praise. (I'm a writer; I'm supposed to praise eloquently; all I could think of was, Wow, man. Wow, like, Wow, Jay, that's great.) A couple of archived onliners here and there. His emails, which somehow manage to convey incredible tenderness (toward his wife, his child, his work, his students) while never being anything less than straight-up daggering (is daggering the right word in this context, Jay, tell me, I need more words) smart.

Get to the point, you say. The point is: Read Jay Kirk in this month's GQ. Read his story, "Hotels Rwanda." Because that's where Jay was, a while ago—in Rwanda, a country marked and bloodied by a terrifying genocide, a country whose hope for revival is now pinned to tourist dollars. Yes, you read that right. Tourism in Rwanda. Jay was there, he went traveling, he saw for the rest of us, and the story he's penned isn't just deeply moving and sometimes hilarious and often very sad. The story he penned is Jay, through and through: human and complex and not manipulative and good.

Here's one of my favorite passages, just to get you started:

"This experience has been checked off the list. It isn't just that it's over, but also because it no longer belongs to the exclusive realm of the imagination, and to be quite honest, I think my imagination will miss it."

http://men.style.com/gq/features/landing?id=content_7404

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In Hand

Friday, May 9, 2008


I'm hoping that Jay Kirk, whose emails I rely on for the shock of light and truth, doesn't mind me quoting just ever so slightly from one of his emails yesterday, and if he does, Jay, I'm sorry. I had mentioned my own mental testiness of late—I believe I referred to my writerly state of mind as something resembling a "thick stew of self-castigation." I believe I was doubting myself. And because Jay is a phenomenal talent on the page, writing one of the best nonfiction books this world is ever going to get to read, when he's finished with it, and soon he'll finish with it, and because his teacherly talents are gigantic, too, he understood. "That's the awful-funny thing about writing isn't it?" he wrote. "How we're motivated by some version of self-hatred, or if that's too strong, at least the unrelenting desire to perfect and correct." But then he said, because he's a rescuer, too, "Ultimately, if you're totally monomaniacal, you can get it right."

Like catching a bird in one's hands, I thought—the wing weight, the heart throb.

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